Thursday, November 20, 2008

how do YOU measure up...

as a woman?

do not send me your measurements. that isn't what i mean.

i feel that, as a grown woman, i should know or should have learned certain things on my journey in life.

things like...
to be on the safe side wash everything in cold water; unless whatever's on your clothes has you scared for your well-being, then use hot water - if it doesn't survive, you didn't want to keep it anyway; bleach with colors never has a happy ending; your man should pump your gas; right-y tight-y, left-y loose-y (of which i was recently informed some men have NEVER heard, sure);
and that these

come with these

except i didn't know that.

those are eyeliner and lipliner pencils... with sharpeners on the end.

i had no idea.

i feel so inadequate.

4 comments:

Heather said...

Dang old fancey stuff!

sondra german said...

you know i'm simple.

Lindsey said...

wow

Cupcake said...

I have learned that you should never trust woman who are to eager to become close friends, usually they are mentally unbalanced and don't have any other friends.

When you move (and use movers) always take your DVDs and video game discs out of their cases and get a large CD case. Move them with you in the CD case. Movers will steal DVDs and video games if allowed the chance.

Stop drinking alcohol BEFORE the room starts spinning.

To find out if eggs are still good put them in a pot of water deep enough for them to float in. If the egg floats it is rotten, if it stays on the bottom, it's good.

You can make buttermilk by adding lemon juice to regular milk. Do not drink this concoction.

It is always better to do something now than later, for tasks both big and small - because "later" isn't a sure thing.

As long as you love your husband you should always forgive the stupid little things he does. They really aren't that important.

You can never give directions that are TOO specific to a hair stylist.

Just because the phone rings doesn't mean that you are obligated to answer it.

High heeled shoes hurt - don't wear them!

Sunscreen is our FRIEND!

Fat cells don't go away, they just empty, when you loose weight. Then the cells wait there hoping to be filled again someday soon.

Stretch marks have to be surgically removed.