support group for swallowers...

can't stop swallowing... your bubble gum? this could happen to you!

do you see what i see?

does this or does this not look like an atari-era, computer-generated, smiley face? or maybe like one of the aliens in the space invaders game for atari? i like picking out things like this... kinda like laying on the ground looking at clouds... except this is actually a tampon dispenser... but office drones can't be choosers, right? this is my view from the throne... 3rd stall of the 10th floor restroom of the building in which i work. i'm not going to tell you the location of said building for fear of a mob swarming my safehouse that is the women's restroom... for all i know this could be as rare a sighting as a virgin mary in a bread pan!

crime and punishment...

an e-mail i received today... i find it especially entertaining (as i'm sans heathens), so i'm posting it for your reading enjoyment too.


THE CHILD'S COMMENTS AND THOUGHTS

My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,
don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
so you can't influence me,
or I'll call Children's Services Division,
better known as C.S.D."


MOM'S REPLY AND THOUGHTS

Of course my first instinct was
to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
at the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, "Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D.
who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes
instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
to take your drivers test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned
so I'll decide what's best."

I said "No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
and wait till dinner time
We're having liver and onions,
a favorite dish of mine."

He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
to watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV,
for new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,
you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires
just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
instead of C.S.D.?"

eureka!

whoa nelly... i have discovered the miracle that is red bull.

okay onward...

to keep the fam posted on my goings on... my aunt katie (dad n's sister) came down from wisconsin to visit. she started over in new orleans, where her son (my cousin) ben is currently doing a "mission year". then she came over to pearland to see our new house. she is SUCH a night owl. we were up until 4:30 saturday morning talking. aunt katie i must tell you i am not responsible for anything i said after 2am... i know my mouth was still moving, but my brain had shut down, i'm quite sure of it. saturday evening my cousins megan and ryan (aunt katie's nieces and nephews), and their significant others (ruben and alyssa, respectively), came over to visit and eat some chinese take-out with us. we finished the evening off with "wedding crashers". movie ended around midnight and my cousins left, then aunt katie left shortly after to head up to tyler to visit with my dad (her brother) and everyone else on the compound. so, to everyone up there, i hope yall's visit with aunt katie went well! we had a great time down here!

justin is in louisiana this week taking water samples in the gulf. then this weekend sarah, will, and mom d (mom d is visitng from wisconsin) will be here. mom d's birthday is on thursday, but sarah and i plan to take her to the salon on saturday for a mani/pedi. then sunday we're watching the superbowl and playing superbowl bingo. they'll head back up to tyler on monday.

that's all i've got for now.

d-i-v-o-r-c-e...

no, not me.

i had expected to keep this blog mostly lighthearted in nature. but i imagine that is not ALWAYS going to be possible.

mom d and dad d, married 23 years, are divorcing. now it's not a surprise, as they've been discussing the possibility with us (me, will, sarah) for weeks, but it was still a bit of a shock. a blunt force whopper akin to smacking my head on the corner of a cabinet or walking eyes open into a glass door. it kinda hurt. i'm nearly 30 and yet i feel awkwardly child-like about the whole thing.

our goal is to remain unbias. they both seem to be okay with it. though i'm not sure it's really hit either of them as they're still living together. mom d can't afford the house on her own, so dad d is buying her out. he'll keep the house and she just bought a mobile home to start out on her own. the place will be hers close to mid-february. meanwhile, sarah and will and i have all chipped in to fly her down here. mom d doesn't really have anyone up there so we thought she might benefit from a short trip down here and some time with us. i believe she'll be at my bro's next wednesday, maybe thursday... i need to check on that. then they'll spend the following weekend down here.

more later... though i won't be posting many details as this is a very personal issue, and i don't think mom d and dad d would be very happy if all of their laundry was hanging out on the clothesline that is my blog.

and now i'll introduce you to my friends...

i'll start with my husband, justin (jay). he's not my only best friend, but he's certainly worth mentioning first. i am aware that "my husband is my best friend" sounds a bit cliché, but just like all of my closest friends, we've been through so much and, not only are we still married, we're still friends! that makes him tops in my book. here's the scoop (it's not much, but it's history)... we went to high school together, but never met. i'd heard about him through my friend jennifer v (at work), and met him through my friend jason g (a couple of weeks after graduation). i went to wisconsin for a couple of weeks... upon my return, i had a little 4th of july get-together to which he was invited. after the 4th of july shindig, he kept calling and inviting me (and my friend kim that was visiting from wisconsin) to "hang out" with him... friends' functions, movies, whatever. i thought he was just being nice, but after kim went back to wisconsin, he kept it up. a few months later i started classes at tjc... went to lunch with jason g (the one who introduced us) and some other friends. jason g asked me how long justin and i had been dating... ?! we're dating?! apparently, our first date was july 19th (1997)!













life-long friends, bethany (beth) and cassie (cass). met them when i was 13 years old at the bus stop on the first day of 8th grade in arlington tx. i must admit that i was the biggest dork on the bus. (having just moved from wisconsin, my then fashionable clothes were a little outdated... no offense to my wisconsin peeps!) i moved around alot in wisconsin, but making friends was always pretty easy up there. i was worried that things wouldn't be so easy in tx, but they talked to me anyway as if it didn't matter that i looked different, dressed different, talked different... everyone was so accepting there! i grew on beth and cass... and i think they even started to like me! ;) we stayed friends, lost touch for a few years, got back in touch in our early 20s, and have stayed in touch ever since. beth has one little girl, emm, who is absolutely beautiful. beth lives in austin tx with her forever boyfriend daniel, roommate tim, and tim's dog ketra (that i just LOVE). cass is married to her on-again/off-again high school sweet heart, brian. they live in arlington tx in the house cass grew up in. i love being in her house... while she's changed the decor, it's like a piece of childhood that never changed. they have two gorgeous kids, daughter adrienne (looks just like cass), and son ethan (looks just like brian). we try to get together as often as we can... which ends up being once every year or two or three... but everytime we get together it's as if no time has passed at all.


mary... i'm pretty sure she was my best friend all through high school and still is. our "mrs robinson" is married to a younger guy that we knew in high school, named brian. they live in tyler and have 3 wonderfully entertaining kids: alex, bryce, madilynn (madi). my parents moved from arlington to tyler to take care of my grandparents (they didn't want them in a nursing home until it just couldn't be helped anymore). the transition to tyler was rough as i'd hoped arlington would be the last place i'd attend shcool and have to make new friends. nobody talked to me for atleast a couple of weeks. as a high school student who was used to making friends easily, that was brutal. i was actually told not to ask anyone with a letter jacket for directions as there's no telling where they'd send me as a prank. nice. i think mary (and missy) were the first people to actually say something (nice) to me. then we realized we live only 5-10 minutes away from each other. and so began that friendship. a side note here: it's not fair to dis everyone in tyler. i made some wonderful friends later in high school, that i'm still in touch with to date (and some of yall are reading this right now!). i should also mention that part of my anti-social high school life was my fault. after some time without much friendly contact, i retreated inside my shell... considered tyler a lost cause, swore when i graduated i was moving back to arlington, piss on everyone in that small, closed-minded town. so, yeah. i had to come out of that shell again, realize that i was the one being closed-minded, and start mingling.


monique (mo). lives in north carolina. she is not married. hell i don't even think she has a cat. she's the youngest of 4 kids, and her dad works on dead people. i've known her since 5th grade (wisconsin). we can talk about anything, when we get the chance. we don't get to talk as much as we'd like as she's a very busy woman. she wants to be a teacher and is working so very hard to get there. i don't think she has any idea how truly proud i am of her.


shawn. ::sigh:: complete ass. but he's always there for his friends. no matter what, where, when, or why. brutally honest... even when he shouldn't be. he was living in san marcos, but recently moved to houston! i'm completely psyched about that, but i haven't gotten to spend much time with him. jay and i have been busy with homeownership, and shawn works for rice university as a videographer for the athletics department which means he's pretty much unavailble all through football season (and then some). but he's moving back to san marcos in april to return to his previous position in sales. he's not married, so if you're interested ladies, PLEASE let me know! ;) he has a flaw: he's a dallas cowboys fan. :( when i met shawn about 10 years ago, i was working for papa johns pizza in tyler. i was hoping for a promotion to assistant manager, when we got a new store manager... which was shawn. i don't care to elaborate much on this as it bores all but shawn and i... but i will say we clashed from the moment he walked in the door. i still did the job and he did give me the promotion. eventually i got used to his sense of humor and we became pretty good friends. obviously we're still in touch. we have a few entertaining stories, that i may one day post here.


and jamie. the newest of my most trusted friends. jamie lives in alvin tx in the middle of nowhere (about 5-10 minutes away from me, depending on how fast i drive down the gravel road) with her husband (jerry) and two cats (sunshine and freckles). her parents are her neighbors, and keep life interesting. jamie and i met via our husbands that attended aviation school together. jamie and jerry have no kids yet either... and since all of our friends already have kids, we've decided we'd like to have kids around the same time so we're not going through it alone (obviously we won't be going through it "alone" as we'll have our husbands... oh who the hell am i kidding...)! if you only knew the conversations we've had on this topic...


note: you can find all of these people (except monique) in my friend space here... http://myspace.com/sondragerman

let me introduce you to my family...

i'm sondra, sondra mae, soni, or sondré. i've been married to my first husband justin (jay), for 8 years. we have no kids of which we are aware. we have a black lab named tanner that i adore and justin tolerates. to learn more about me i recommend you take a detour over to http://myspace.com/sondragerman because i'm not going to retype all that crap here too.

i am the oldest of two kids. my brother's name is will (formerly willie, wilbur, william) and he's married to sarah (sometimes called sari). they currently have two cats (tessa and maggie) and no kids. they live in tyler tx*. i should tell yall that i love my brother more than words can say, and i absolutely adore sarah. i am convinced she is my soulmate and don't know how i ever lived my life without her. i thank my brother every chance i get for bringing her into my life. of course, i still love my brother too...

my mom and step-dad live in cedarburg wi and will be referred to as mom d and dad d from this point forward. i will note that dad d raised me from age itty bitty to age 13. dad d and dad n both walked me down the aisle on my wedding day. i was uncomfortably distant from my mother up until a few months ago, when she made an attempt to contact me. i am aware of how hard that was for her and know she deserves my acknowledgement. she's working very hard to be the person she wants to be, a person she can be happy with. i have an older step-brother from this union, named tommy (recently moved to arkansas).

my dad and step-mom live in tyler tx* and will be referred to as mom n and dad n from this point forward. mom n and dad n raised me from 13 and on. somehow i turned out normal... right? from this union, i have one older step-brother, troy (that i feel i never know enough about), and one older step-sister, tammy (that i just love). troy lives in queensbury ny, is married to janet, and has three kids: stacia, anna, ethan (side note here: ethan has severe food and skin allergies. please use www.goodsearch.com as your search engine. type in "kids with food allergies" in the "who do you goodsearch for?" box and goodsearch will donate one cent for every search you do from their page to that charity.). tammy lives in tyler tx*, is married to jeff, and has three kids: carly, lauren, noah.

my husband's family is a little less complex (haha!) justin is the middle child.

his younger brother, aaron, is married to danelle. they have two kids: kaden, addison (addy). they live two blocks away from us.

his older brother, brian, is married to betsy (betzabe) from mexico city (which is important because she's teaching me spanish, though the lessons are temporarily on hold). they have three kids: dylan, ethan, kaira. they live in south houston, about 15 minutes away from us.

his mom, debbie, lives in pearland, about 10 minutes away. as i've run out of letters to put after "mom" (and for the sake of simiplicity), we'll call her by name. debbie is not married, lives by herself, and is quite independent. she loves the grandbabies and is always first to volunteer when any of the kids (not us!) need a sitter.

his dad and step-mom will be referred to as mom g and dad g. they live in ben wheeler tx (near tyler). we don't get to see them as much as we'd like, for various reasons. but it's always a treat when we do. we love staying with them as it always feels like we're "home".

* all of these poor souls are neighbors! there are two adjacent pieces of property with two houses on each (mom n and dad n own one piece of property; tammy and jeff own the other piece of property). mom n and dad n in one house, sarah and will in another, tammy and jeff (and kids) in another. the fourth house (as you'll note that i only listed three families, but four houses) is being rented to a family friend named jenny (and her significant other, kevin). these four houses comprise what my family lovingly calls "the compound".